Sometimes it takes a lot out of you. Moms, you know what I’m talking about. As much as you may not like to admit it, you’re tired. It may not be the parenting that’s tiring. It may actually have nothing to do with your child. Your child may actually be the light in your life. It may just simply be everything else.
My daughter is going on two months old, which means that I am already on my work’s schedule for January, which means that I am preparing rigorously to go back to work. This means that I’m cleaning my house non stop. I’m reorganizing the nursery so that babysitters will be able to find what they need for her while I’m at work. I slapped on a coat of paint or two to random fixtures around my house so that I can pretend I’m not embarrassed of my home’s “vintage” look. I started fixing all of the tiny annoyances around the house so that I don’t have to worry about it during my shift, or when I come home from my shift and all I want to do is hang out with my little girl. I’m trying to take care of anything that may get in my way of quality time with her.
I’m sure most new moms are anxious to go back to work. I’m sure this is a normal feeling. I’d be lying if I said that my anxiety wasn’t through the roof and I was on the verge of tears at any given time of the day. Now that my maternity leave is coming to an end, I realize that I didn’t get much of what I wanted to do done. Obviously this is because it’s not actually a break from work like I often like to tell myself. I didn’t get to read a bunch of books. I didn’t get to knit a bunch of baby hats. I didn’t get to catch up on all of my school work that was due a month ago.
Now I’m ready to head back to work. I feel like this is part in motherhood where you “level up” and now all of a sudden you’re thrown back into a world that kind of looks like the previous world but it’s just a whole lot harder all of a sudden.
I’m with the rest of you when I say I’m not sure if I’m ready for “Boss Level”.